Adventures Of Author And Shadow: Evagelion Style
by RPGmastar
Summary: What if Shinji was raised by Author,a supernatural, dimensional traveler with the power to create gods? Watch as the two of them cause all sorts of trouble as they fight against the angels. Love,betrayal, and lots of giant robot on monster action! SxA
1. Into the Hole leading towards hell

The Adventure Of Author And Shadow: Evagelion Style

Chapter One: Into the Hole leading towards hell.

It was a bright day with no clouds in sight. The type of day one would go on a picnic with their loved ones. To bad a giant monster was destroying the city. (Why do they always attack on days like these anyways?) The military used all the firepower they could muster but the damn thing was just too powerful. (You would think Japan would get some better weapons after all the Godzilla attacks) Destruction rained down on the streets of Tokyo-3 (Whatever happened to Tokyo-2?) as the demon...thing kept up it's attack. Meanwhile, on the other side of the city, two passengers got off the train unaware of what was happening nearby. One was a handsome man, about 6 feet tall and had the body of a black belt martial artist. His spiky black hair reached down towards the center of his back. The black rocker pants with sliver chains and unzipped black leather jacket (No shirt.) helped define him as a badass. His companion was a young teenager of around 14 wearing the standard school uniform and had short black hair. Most people would of thought he was just some nerd if it wasn't for the fact that like his friend, he too had the body of a high ranking martial artist. Both looked around the surrounding area before sitting on the stairs. A few minutes later, the tall man sighed and looked towards the young boy.

"Damn it. Where the hell is the lady that suppose to pick us up?"

"I don't know Author. Maybe there was traffic on the way here?"

Author looked at his friend in a Are-You-kidding-Me-? way then took out a can of beer from his pocket. (mmmm...beer)

"Do YOU see any any traffic no scratch that, anyBODY around here? It's like a fricking ghost town here. Are you sure you want to meet up with your father Shinji?"

Shinji looked downwards as he thought of his father and how he was abandoned. It was 10 years ago that it happened and if Author hadn't showed up and taken him in, he might of died in the streets. He really didn't want to see the man who's seed he came from, (EWWW! I feel sick now) but some strange feeling told him to come. He should of told the feeling to go jump off a cliff.

Suddenly a tremor was felt by the too and they stood up in surprise. Author looked around searching for the cause of the tremor without success.

"Why do I have the feeling that something bad is gonna happen and we're involved?"

"Because Author, something bad always happens and we're always involved. Remember the incident with the Jurai Royal family?"

"That was totally Shadows fault. I told him not to touch her boobs but does he listen? Noooooo. He has to go and ask her if they were real! (Things like this has actually happened to me. Except the Jurai Royal family part.) I swear that's the last time I bring Shadow along with me to one of my adventures (LIES!)

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. And that's a giant monster demon thing called an angel that's here to destroy humankind and Earth's only help is giant bio robots called Eva's made by my father's scientist." (Isn't Irony a bitch?) Shinji said as he pointed towards the monster from before in total calmness as if he didn't realise the thing was really there. Author looked at the thing for a brief moment before he looked back at Shinji.

"Pffffft. Like that would ever happen." Yes they are that stupid. Or maybe it's because they are use to things like this after all, once you've fought a giant 200 story (Spelling is FUBARed I know) tentacle monster with your bare hands, things like this seem lame.

"HEY YOU TWO! OVER HERE!"

The two look behind them to see a blue sports car with a HOT long blue haired babe with a HUGE rack. (Damn Misato's hot) They looked at her for a moment then looked back at the monster. Back to the girl. Now the monster. It went like this for five minutes as they tried to decide to either check out the lady or to continue to watch the thing wreck Tokyo-2. Finally they got bored and walked towards the chick who by now had a huge sweatdrop in the back of her head. Author was the first to reach her and simply gave her a peace sign.

"Yo. Name's Author. My short friend here is Shinji. You Misato?"

"Yeah. We should really start heading back to NERV though I was only really expecting one of you."

And thus, the day that all hell broke loose has begun. Yep, Satan is gonna be one pissed off ruler.


	2. And by hell I mean sesame Street

There comes a time where one must make these life changing decisions: What college am I going to pick? Should I marry him/her or not? Do I take this job or the other one. Do I get in the giant ugly pink walking mech of death and pimp smack the giant Godzilla monster reject or go to the nearest open Eggers and order a giant Ice cream sundae?

...

...

...

Ok, so maybe not the last one but by god, Eggers has the best Ice cream a man can ever eat.

And it was this exact thought Shinji was having as he looked at the said giant robot.

"We call it Eva and it's mankind's last hope against the angels."

The one who spoke this was Dr. Akagi, a attractive fake blond who for some strange reason was wearing a bathing suit rather then actual clothes. Shinji decided to call her that babe who was in that last issue of playboy is is most likely banging my old man.

...

...

...

"You know, when I made that joke about the giant monster I didn't actually mean it."

Shinji turned away from the ugly piece of crap, I mean Eva unit 01 to speak to his friend and guardian.

"Did you forget the kind of life we live?"

"Oh yeah.....still this sucks and where's the evil bastard known as Satan I mean Gendo?"

Just then a loud banging and crashing sound could be heard from nearby followed with curses. Some of which has never before be heard. Unless your a Pixie, those evil son of a bitches.

Eventually Satan I mean Gendo appeared from a hidden door unlike in the anime where he appeared from behind some glass from up above cause he has a god complex.

"Hello Shinji."

Shinji groaned as he turned towards his good for nothing father. Coughsatancough.

"prepare the Eva."

"What?! But we don't have a pilot!'

Misato yelled out in panic for no reason what so ever (cept for the giant monster that's been smashing the roof of the base for about an hour now but don't mind him, he's just cranky.)

"One was just delivered"

"You mean..."

At this everyone stared at Shinji. and I mean EVERYONE. even the angel stopped to look. They then proceeded to laugh.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you mean (snort) the him?!)

Misato pointed at Shinji who was getting pretty pissed off at this point.

"You make it sound like I have never piloted a giant mech of death before."

At this everyone stopped.

"....um....have you?"

His only answer was to take out an id card. Only it wasn't just an ID card. It was THE ID card. You know, the one you get once you complete your Megas XLR exam. The one that basically says you are an official licensed giant robot pilot by the state of New Jersey.

"...."

"...not gonna ask."

And thus Shinji got in the giant robot, started bitching about tang filling the cockpit, and proceeded to beat the ever living shit out of the angel all to the tune of the Initial D theme song for no reason what so ever other then the fact that Initial D kicks ass.

And what was Author doing this entire time? He was hacking into the magi using an old Dell Inspiron 1501 laptop with Vista and actually broke into it because he is so bad ass. (...Ok I lied, he used some sort of inter dimensional alien futuristic technology that only looked like an old laptop to break into the magi but that's just some minor details you don't care about.)

Why was he hacking into the Magi? To install and play Halo with the most advance and powerful AI to ever exist (on Earth). He figured they would be worthy opponents to test his sniping skills on.

Oh I'm sorry, you want to know how they got to nerv so fast and what happened during the ride to get there? Nothing. Nothing happened at all. Misato was driving crazy like she always does. Got into a race with an AE86 Hatchback that delivers Tofu. Lost in the 5 consecutive turns cause he did some unheard of drifting technique. Got pissed and summoned Ifrit to blow some shit up. Boring stuff. No one whats to read about that crap.

Anyways. Shinji kicks the angel's ass in like 5 seconds then goes and destroys the school and any other schools nearby (cause let's face it, if your a kid with a giant robot you would do the same thing the first chance you get.) and returned 2 hours later with some giant robot size speakers and PSP. (where he got it no one has been able to figure out) playing Destroy All Humans (kinda Ironic eh?)

A few hours and Shinji can be seen standing besides Author as they waited to find out where they would be staying while in Tokyo-3.

"Sooooo where you think they're send us?"

"Knowing our luck, with that crazy chick that drove us here."

"Yeah. That whole race with Takumi and summoning the giant lizard thing was insane."

"word."

And as you would know it, they were assigned to live with Misato.

"GOD DAMN IT!"

Heh. God I love abusing my Author powers.

Next time on Dragon Ball Z I mean AOAAS: Eva Style: A shadowly organization threatens the world as a new main character arrives (and no it's not Chuck Norris). Who is PenPen and does he really work for the MIB? And why does Dragonball Evolution suck so much? These questions and more will be answered (except for the last one. Stupid live action)


End file.
